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The MAGIC Formula – Inspiring Yourself – Variety

The MAGIC Formula - Variety

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—
The Real Variety Show

Variety is the spice of life. 

I certainly find that to be true. I get bored so quickly. I find it hard to sit and do the same thing for more than an hour. I can think back to only a few occasions in my life when I became totally absorbed in something and sat doing the same thing for hours on end. Typically it was a web design project. But it rarely happens these days. 

If you’re anything like me, you could benefit from intentionally using variety to aid your productivity and creativity.

How about exploring

  • different solutions to problems, 
  • different tools for creating and communicating, and
  • different formats for learning?

Many Possibilities

When you see a fantastic magic performance, you see an effect. If the magician is any good, you do not see the method, the secret goings-on behind the illusion. When a magician designs a trick, they will often start with the end effect in mind. Then they will consider several different possible methods for making it happen. 

Last week I built a standing desk. I researched a variety of different possible solutions. And in the end, I designed my own. 

Most problems have multiple possible solutions. Think of a tricky situation that you have right now. On a big piece of paper, brainstorm all the different ways that it might be resolved. Include the ridiculous ones as well. Then leave it overnight and come back to it.

You will probably be able to add some more ideas the next day. Chances are, either you will have decided on a different solution, or you will be clearer on your reasons for the answer you had initially.

Finding What is Write for Me

I find it very hard to sit simply in front of my computer and write. But I want to write, I need to write, and some people seem to like my writing(!) So, I have developed my own method for producing these blogs, filled with variety.

Admittedly, the lockdown has limited our options. We now have kids at home, so there are fewer rooms available, but I usually try to go somewhere other than my office to do my first brainstorm of an idea. It will be with pen and ink, a spider diagram. The next day, I will busk my article using dictation. I use otter.ai , and I simply talk from my spider diagram into my phone. This produces a text file for me, which I can download from a web browser on my laptop.

The next day I will edit this into some to tidy up the structure. On the final day, I will create the graphic and run the whole thing through Grammarly before posting. 

Flipping Brilliant

One of my favourite office tools is my flip chart. I have found it invaluable for just getting my thoughts on paper and developing them. It is excellent for preparing for talks, presentations and phone calls. I also use it to have “meetings with myself”. My wife came into my office the other day and saw my flip chart, all squiggly lines, circles and multicoloured pens and said, “You are such a visual learner.” Very true.

Up, Down or Sideways?

How about varying your posture and position? I now do some of my work standing up and some sitting down.

Similarly, when it comes to communicating ideas on video calls. You can just sit in front of your Zoom, or you could mix it up. When you have something to share you can talk to the camera, you could speak to a different camera, maybe on your phone? You could be standing up or sitting down; you could use slides, video or props. You get the idea. How can you make it more interesting for both you and those you are calling?

What Could You Know?

If we want to keep moving forwards and not get left behind, we have to keep learning. I favour a variety of learning formats, a mixed diet – recorded courses, live courses, reading, audiobooks, podcasts, hobbies. There are many different ways to learn. I am learning Spanish from an audiobook while shaving.

What could you learn, and where could you fit it into your life? 

Could some variety spice up your life and work?

—
Get a MAGIC Boost!

Book 60 minutes one-to-one with John to apply the MAGIC formula just where you need it right now.

Possibilities include:

– Finding your motivation
– Getting organised and focussed
– Preparing for a tough conversation
– Getting ready to lead a team meeting
– Preparing for a speech or presentation

and more!

https://www.work-life-magic.com/get-a-magic-boost/

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The MAGIC Formula – Inspiring Yourself – Art Checkup

Inspiring Yourself - The Arts

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 
—

Art to Heart

Happy New Year!

I spent most of the Christmas and New Year break in a mixture of sleeping, eating and consuming stories of one sort or another. Lots of reading, watching films and online theatre

I find the arts invaluable during life in general, but they have been especially so over the last months during  COVID restrictions. Why are they so important? They can be seen as ephemeral, but I have come to appreciate that the apparently frivolous is actually essential.

The arts feed our mind, and they nourish our soul. And when our mind and soul are satisfied, that fuels everything else. It was not for nothing that Vera Lynn went out to entertain the troops.

How should we engage in the arts?

  • We can consume,
  • we can create, and
  • we can support artists.

Feed Your Mind

Consuming art inspires us, whether it be theatre, film, music, reading fiction or nonfiction, watching comedy or looking at paintings. We get inspired and refreshed.  We get moved, we get challenged and, as a result, we grow. Stuff in equals stuff out.

Leaders need to be great storytellers. We can only become better storytellers when we engage with many stories.

Make to Make a Difference

We can create art. You don’t have to be good, but I would encourage you to do it anyway, whether by dancing, drawing, painting, making music or writing. What we create may or may not be for the consumption of others. Most of it will probably never see the light of day. Don’t worry, create anyway. It’s good for our mental health, it’s relaxing, it gives us an outlet.

If you’re religious, you can think of it as a type of prayer. I certainly do.

Keep Your Arts Pumping

And please, please, please at this time, support artists in any way that you can. The industry, particularly for live performers, is in a dire situation. Take any opportunity you can to watch online performances and pay for them. We need the arts, and we don’t want to lose them.

I will repeat it: the apparently frivolous is essential.

—
Get a MAGIC Boost!

Book 60 minutes one-to-one with John to apply the MAGIC formula just where you need it right now.

Possibilities include:

– Finding your motivation
– Getting organised and focussed
– Preparing for a tough conversation
– Getting ready to lead a team meeting
– Preparing for a speech or presentation

and more!

https://www.work-life-magic.com/get-a-magic-boost/

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The MAGIC Formula – Help, Please!

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Can You Help?

No article this week, I am pausing for breath.

Instead, please may I ask for your help?

I am building a resource for team leaders, based on my MAGIC formula.

So that it can be as effective as possible, I would love to incorporate the experience of other team leaders as well as myself.

f you are a team leader or a team member, would you be able to have a 15-minute call with me so that I can ask you some questions about your experience?

If you are not a team leader, do you know anyone who is and would you be able to introduce them to me?

Many thanks and best wishes,

John

—
Get a MAGIC Boost!

Book 60 minutes one-to-one with John to apply the MAGIC formula just where you need it right now.

Possibilities include:

– Finding your motivation
– Getting organised and focussed
– Preparing for a tough conversation
– Getting ready to lead a team meeting
– Preparing for a speech or presentation

and more!

https://www.work-life-magic.com/get-a-magic-boost/

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The MAGIC Formula – Attuning to Yourself – Solo or Team Player?

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Me, Myself and I


I’m performing my solo show. People are applauding me. I’m in my flow. I love it.

I wrote the show myself. I designed the website myself. I did all the bookings myself. I drove myself here, and I’ll drive myself home. I get all the money.

I’ve been a solo performer for years. I love it – ultimate control. My own boss; anyone in the same position will recognise how addictive it is.

However, there have been times in my life when I worked in a team to produce a performance. It was a different experience. At times frustrating, but also hugely creative and rewarding – bouncing ideas off of each other led to new directions that would never have been possible if I had been working on my own.

The same has been true in business. Whenever I have worked in a team, there have been frustrations but also much greater creativity.

More than the Sum of the Parts

I have come to recognise that I need both. I am a natural introvert, but I need the stimulation, input and resources that other people provide. It is a question of finding the right balance. As a natural soloist, my tendency is to try to do everything myself, but that is simply not possible.

There will always be other people that can do certain things better than me. And I really should delegate to them. There will be others who can sharpen my ideas. I really should be brave and share my tentative thoughts with them so that they can become better ideas.

Have a think about yourself. Do you gravitate towards working with other people, or by yourself?

Is There Fear Here?

Have you got the balance right? If you are a natural solo performer, what is holding you back from working with others or delegating certain tasks?

Is it the fear of responsibility for others mistakes? Fear of hooking in the wrong freelancer, and having some wasted expense? Fear of looking silly when you share your ideas with others?

Yes, you are more nimble when you are solo, but you are also limited. Are you missing out on the benefits of working with the team, because you are afraid?

Finding the Balance

Of course, working with others is not always the best way to go. We have all been in team meetings that have been a real waste of time. There is the ever-present danger of talking and not doing anything.

Recently I was a student on ACEVO’s New and Emerging Leaders training run by the excellent Kevin and Rita of First Position Performance Development. One of the sessions looked at meta programmes, those patterns inside of us that drive us to work in particular ways. One of them was the independent/ co-operative programme. We may naturally prefer to work by ourselves, tend towards working in a team, or we could sit somewhere in the middle, in the proximity zone: working with a group but maintaining our own autonomy and ownership of projects. I think this is where I am at the moment.

Ultimately, it’s all about finding the right balance for you, but consider pushing yourself slightly out of your comfort zone. Despite how annoying others can sometimes be, humans are naturally community animals, and we do need each other.

God grant me the serenity
to accept that sometimes I need to work with others;
the courage to work by myself when necessary;
and wisdom to know the difference.

—
Get a MAGIC Boost!

Book 60 minutes one-to-one with John to apply the MAGIC formula just where you need it right now.

Possibilities include:

– Finding your motivation
– Getting organised and focussed
– Preparing for a tough conversation
– Getting ready to lead a team meeting
– Preparing for a speech or presentation

and more!

https://www.work-life-magic.com/get-a-magic-boost/

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The MAGIC Formula – Attuning to Yourself – You Are Your Own Boss

The MAGIC Formula

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Bean Thinking…

I love baked beans, I always have, ever since I was a child.

However, there were 15 years when I seldom ate them. The reason? My wife hates them. For the first part of our married life, whenever we went shopping, we never bought them.

I didn’t buy them because she didn’t like them. It took me far too long to get to the point where I realised I could buy my own baked beans and eat them by myself. It was like an epiphany. I suddenly realised I had agency in this area of my life.

My baked beans story is a little ridiculous, but there is a deeper lesson here.

You Are in Charge

You are your own boss. Even if you’re not self-employed, even if you don’t run your own company, you are still your own boss. You have the ultimate agency in your life. It’s worth reminding yourself of this every now and then.

Once you have this clear in your mind, you can then be honest about where you are. You can dream big dreams about your life. And you can plan strategically about how you are going to achieve them.

Meetings With Yourself

I was recently at the Professional Speaking Association summit, an excellent event, and there was a great session by Simon Hazeldine. He was talking to an audience of self-employed speakers and pointed out that we are our own CEOs and that we should have regular CEO meetings with ourselves.

He suggested that in these meetings we should cover the areas of:

  • Strategy:  dreaming big dreams: where do we want to get to, how might we get there?
  • Risk: assessing our weak spots and what can be done about them. Contingency planning. Being honest about where we are now and what could be done better, and
  • People: working out what we can do ourselves and what we need to get done by other people. How are we going to get them on board?

Feet Up

A few years back, I had some training in being a charity Chief Executive. My trainer mentioned that you can often spot the CEO in an organisation because they are the one with their feet up on the desk. Not suggesting that they are being lazy. Instead, they are thinking, pondering, looking at the big picture.

Do you set apart regular times to think about your work and your life? Because this applies to your life as much as it does do your work. Do you build in regular reflection on your life, about your direction and vision? Your job, your money, your relationships?

Why not set up a regular CEO meeting with yourself so that you are always attuned to exactly how things are? After all, the only place you can start out from is where you are.

Be honest. Get the big picture, and be courageous.

—
Get a MAGIC Boost!

Book 60 minutes one-to-one with John to apply the MAGIC formula just where you need it right now.

Click here to book

Possibilities include:

  • Finding your motivation
  • Getting organised and focussed
  • Preparing for a tough conversation
  • Getting ready to lead a team meeting
  • Preparing for a speech or presentation

and more!

Click here to book

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The MAGIC Formula – Connecting to Yourself – Exercising in Nature

The MAGIC Formula - Exercise in Nature

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Right Royals

I am currently enjoying The Crown on Netflix. Say and think what you like about the Royal family, you have to admire their commitment to getting outdoors for some good healthy exercise.

Happy Paddler

Those who know me will know that I have a kayaking habit. I take out my sit-on-top kayak once a week for two to three hours. I paddle around, stop halfway for lunch on the riverbank.

It’s not a fast boat, but I love it. Over the last few years, I have seen some amazing things on these trips: pairs of kingfishers chasing each other across the canal; a deer swimming across the river just metres behind me; a fox racing me along the riverbank as I paddled along; a stoat coming and sitting a few metres away as I cooked up my baked beans. Special moments, unlikely to be repeated, which have become treasured memories.

Why am I so committed to kayaking every week, even when it’s freezing cold? It’s not just a nice thing to do, I believe it is essential for my work. Why is this?

I think we should all aim to do some exercise regularly in the great outdoors because:

– it is good for our mental health,
– It’s good for our physical health and fitness,
– It is intellectually stimulating and challenging, and
– it’s great thinking time.

Mental Space

Getting outside for a walk, cycle, or kayak gives you great headspace time. Your horizons literally get bigger, your eyes open to the wonders of nature, you get time to think. And time not to think.

I would encourage you to take off your headphones. Allow yourself to hear the birds, the rush of the wind, the patter of the raindrops. Let your brain slow down a bit. Get some perspective.

Better Body

Exercise is good for your body. I realise that is not a groundbreaking statement. But worth repeating nevertheless. It is an excellent antidote to sitting at your desk all day. Sitting a lot makes your muscles ache – I’m sure you’ve experienced this. Some vigorous exercise can help to alleviate that, to dispel some stiffness.

Muscle strength is also crucial for good posture and maintaining balance, particularly as we get older. I think decent strength and stamina reduces our risk of picking up annoying injuries as we go about our daily lives.

And I find that the change in focal length is refreshing. Staring at a screen all day means our eyes are always focused at one distance. Going outside to bigger horizons gives them a rest.

Health-wise, the benefits of vitamin D are well known. As well as being beneficial for your bones and joints, there are reports that it might even help to prevent  COVID-19.
I’m a big advocate in getting out in all weathers. I love the Scottish maxim that there is no bad weather, only the wrong clothes. Wim Hof might seem slightly extreme with his ice walks and ice swims, but it has been demonstrated that exposing yourself to a bit of shiver-inducing cold each day could help to improve your immune system.

Get out there so that the sun, rain and wind can hit your face. You’ll feel better. And you’ll look healthier, in person and in all those Zoom meetings.

Brain Boost

One of the reasons I love kayaking is the problem-solving and challenging situations it throws up. Maybe there’s a tree down across the river, and I have to get past it. Maybe a strap has snapped on my kayak, and I have to improvise.

If you have been camping, you will know that this involves all sorts of problem-solving situations. I find this very stimulating and a welcome change from the everyday computer-based thinking.

Nature itself is also intellectually and creatively stimulating: the beauty, the intricacy, the ingenuity. You can derive all sorts of inspiration from observing plants and animals. I like to explore natural environments with different degrees of human management: carefully managed parks, slightly wilder farmland, and occasionally wilderness – although that is hard to find these days.

Pondering and Percolating

Taking some time go for a walk or engage in some other sort of outdoors activity is also wonderful thinking time. Even if you don’t consciously focus on a particular problem, your brain will be percolating ideas in the background. There are countless times when a breakthrough, an epiphany or a moment of inspiration has come to me while walking the dog. It is always worth having a notepad or phone handy, so you can make a note of these flashes of inspiration.

Now, where are your coat and boots?

—
Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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The MAGIC Formula – Connecting to Yourself – Time Management

The MAGIC Formula - Time Management

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Time to Take Control

It is a zero-sum game. There are only a fixed amount of hours in your day, your week, your year.

To connect with yourself, you need space. To enable this, you need to take charge of your time management. It is too easy to let it run away with you. Take control so that you can live a fulfilling, productive and sustainable life. Run your time, don’t let time run you.

Yes and No

Saying yes to one thing will always mean saying no to something else. It’s unavoidable. Agreeing to an evening business meeting means saying no to watching TV. Arranging a weekend with the family might mean missing a conference. Taking on a new job or project could mean forfeiting some rest and recreation.

We only have a certain amount of hours.

So how do we ensure that we give our time and energy to the things that matter?

Time and Values

How we allocate our time directly stems from our personal values.

Think about new parents. They may well argue that their time is not their own – all their time and energy is taken by their new baby. I know the feeling, I’ve been there three times! However, even this is a reflection on their values.

Their child is the most important thing in the parents’ lives, hence their willingness to sacrifice time. It is still a choice. They could theoretically decide to neglect the child. But the parents don’t do this because of their values.

This concept translates into other areas of your life. You might argue that your job demands all your time, but, at the end of the day, it is up to you. Ultimately you might decide that you don’t want to give it that status and that might mean you have to change jobs. It is your job, it is your time, it is your choice.

Big Rocks


You may well be familiar with the image of putting big rocks, stones and sand into a jar:

– The big rocks represent the essential things in life, e.g., significant birthdays, weddings, funerals, holidays.
– The stones are the important things: critical work meetings, regular exercise, time for reflection., etc.
– The sand is everything else, the hundred emails that come in every day, ad hoc meetings, telephone calls.

The lesson from the jar is that if you put all the sand in first, there’s no room for anything else. Put the big rocks in first, then the stones, and then let the sand fill in the gaps.

Your Time is Your Own

Crucially, remember that you have ultimate agency in all of this. It is your choice, every step of the way. And remember, your time management will be different from anybody else’s.

You have your own unique set of people and pressures making demands. Your energy levels through the day will be different from anyone else’s.

Work out your priority list, put the big rocks in first and go from there. I love the book Essentialism (#ad) by Greg McKeown. He encourages us to work out the things that only we can do and then leave the rest to others.

Time to Observe

Practically, how do you go about time management?

It is useful to observe yourself. Think about how tired certain activities make you. How much rest do you need? How much time do you need for recreation, exercise and meals?
Work out what is realistic and sustainable for you in terms of a work-life rhythm. Do you put sufficient time buffers between zoom meetings, for example, so you can recharge and reset your brain?

Your needs will be different from those of others. When planning your diary, use your imagination to visualise the coming day or week. Picture how you will cope with the schedule you’re putting in place.

Call Time

Consider how you want to receive phone calls. Are you happy to answer a call at any time? I’m not! I view a phone call as an ad-hoc meeting. Personally, I am not ready to have a meeting the moment somebody else decides they want one. I need time to prepare.
In an attempt to manage this, I now use Calendly so people can book in for calls. Some people really don’t like it, but even they are realising that I probably won’t pick up the phone immediately. They now leave a message or text asking to speak at a later time. It seems to be working…

Tightrope Time

It’s all about work-life-balance. Or as I like to call it, work-life-magic 🙂

From my physical theatre and circus background, I learned that there are two types of balance: static and dynamic.

Static balance is where something is poised and balanced without moving, precisely even weight distribution. Think of a see-saw with no-one on it. Sometimes we think that our work-life balance should be like this, that we can achieve the perfect balance, and then it is just set forever.

However, I think life is much more like a dynamic balance. Picture a tightrope walker continually adjusting their weight, shifting one way or the next with their arms or balance pole.

As you go through life, your circumstances change, and you will need to shift and adjust to create a sustainable rhythm. Sometimes you will need to work more. Sometimes you will need more leisure. That is natural.

Ultimately, remember, you have agency. It is up to you. It all depends on your priorities.

Is it time to find your work-life-magic?

—
Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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The MAGIC Formula – Moving Yourself – The Power of Music

The MAGIC Formula - The Power of Music

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team

Your prospects 

—

The Power of Music

I step off the bus at the central bus station in Heathrow facing a long walk with two wheelie cases to Terminal 2: Endless corridors, lifts and travellators.

But then the transformation.

I put on my noise-cancelling headphones and fire up Forty Licks, the best of the Rolling Stones

A smile comes on my face.

With “Street Fighting Man” in my ears, It’s all I can do to stop myself strutting like Mick Jagger, with a spring in my step. And the tedious journey suddenly becomes a pleasure. I’m a rock star!

I get to the queue for check-in. A big grin on my face with my feet tapping. I have to reign it in a bit, so the other passengers don’t think I’m mad.

Music is a marvellous thing.

All humans have loved it since time began. It has magical power to change our moods.

Why not use it intentionally?

I suggest that you can use music to improve your work and life by using it to:

– put you in the right mood for the activity at hand,
– inspire yourself
– help you to concentrate, and
– help you connect spiritually.

Getting In the Mood

Five minutes before chairing a challenging Zoom meeting, I put on my headphones and crank up “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’Roses, and dance around my office, juggling and jiggling like a crazy thing. Suffice to say, I begin the meeting energised!

When entering a national speech competition, I realised that my speech needed to hit a higher tempo in the rhythm of my words. I wanted to get more energy into it and to make sure it lasted precisely the right amount of time. I discovered that the beat I needed was exactly the same as “Staying Alive” by The Bee Gees. So I played that to myself before I went on.

I love cooking. I love cooking even more when I have Radio 2 on in the background. Chop, stir, dance, sing, chop. I’m showing my age, you will have your own special music and favourite station.

Music can energise you, it can motivate you. It can change your mood.

Let the Choir Inspire

Music can be inspirational. If you listen to lots of different music, especially music with lyrics. It will give you new ideas, new poetic phrases that may inspire your work and your life. I encourage you to listen to music outside your typical tastes. It will give you an insight into how others think and feel.

I love all sorts of music and make a point of listening to a wide range: heavy rock cheesy pop, folk, 80s hip hop, and even a bit of classical in extremis(!)

Concentration Now Begins

It seems counterintuitive, but much of the time having music in the background actually aids concentration rather than splitting our focus. I found this intriguing article in The Guardian, which explains why.

I have indeed found this true from experience. Putting some music on enables me to focus on a task when I would otherwise be demotivated or vulnerable to distraction.

Spiritual Connection

And finally, music can help you to connect spiritually. You may or may not be religious. If you are then you will be familiar with worship music, and how this plays a massive role in both personal and corporate devotion.

But, even if we are not religious, we all have songs that mean something to us.

And we all know that certain songs can de-stress us and calm us down. Some pieces can move us to tears, others can inspire us.

Think about how you can use music intentionally to improve both your work and your life.

Music may be the food of love, but it is the food of so much more as well. Play on.

—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
Posted on

The MAGIC Formula – Moving Yourself – Values

The MAGIC Formula- Moving Yourself - Values

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

—

Value Added

Values are incredibly, well, valuable. They are fundamentally important.

Many thanks to Michelle Mills-Porter for reminding me how important they are. She is an expert on personality types, she can profile someone at a hundred paces (sort of). She is passionate about tools like DiSC. Still, she emphasised to me that, even before you start looking at personality types, you need to think about values. They are the building blocks from which everything else is constructed.

Uncovering Hidden Values

How do you discern your values?

It is worth taking some time to think about what is really important to you. Some aspects of this may be obvious, others less so. How do you discern this?

If you’re not sure, think about what gets your emotions going.

For years I was confused by myself. I’m not an especially emotional person, I don’t cry very much, and I hardly ever get angry. But every time I watched the musical Cabaret, I found myself getting really angry and crying.

My emotions were stirred up.

I reflected on it and realised that this showed me that I value people having freedom. And I hate to see it when they have that freedom denied.

I also tend to cry whenever I see any piece of good theatre. It doesn’t matter if it’s sad, happy, or even just silly. If it is excellently done. I will probably start crying. I’ve been known to do it in theatre adaptations of toddlers TV shows, just because the production was so good! Why is that? I realised that I value creativity, and I love people being able to express themselves in their own creative ways. Again, I think it’s to do with freedom.

What’s Your List?

Early on in our marriage, my wife and I talked about what was important to us. We’re both Christians, so our initial stab at establishing our benchmark values had God first, family next, and work third.

After further thinking and more years, I realised that self-care has to be up there as well. You can’t help others if you are in pieces yourself, so you have to look after yourself to be able to serve them. Consequently, my priority list now looks like this:

God,
self,  
wife,
family,
work,
other stuff.

Your list will probably look different. That’s OK, the important thing is that you think about it.

Decisions, Decisions…

Once you have established your priority list, it makes decision making, easier. Every time you have to make a life decision, you can measure it against your list: What will be the impact on myself, my partner, my family, etc.?

For example, a work assignment that would take you away for six months from your family may not be an option. Or it may be. It depends on your value list.

Valuable Reflection

It is a good idea to build in regular reflection time just to check that your life and work are still congruent with your values. It is so easy to drift.

If you do unconsciously drift, you will probably notice a dissatisfaction and unease in yourself, because what you’re doing is not aligned with your values. Regular reflection should help you to identify this and think about whether there is anything you can do to put it right.


Look at your values, reflect on your values regularly and check each decision you make against them.

Values are so, well, valuable.

—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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Be Kind by MAGIC – Connecting with Clients

Connecting with Clients

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 
—

Connecting with clients. 

Connecting is at the end of my MAGIC acronym. But that is just because it is the last letter in the word magic! It could come first, but the spelling would be wrong.

Connecting affects all the other aspects that we have talked about so far. The key to working with clients or anybody else is relationships. And there is no relationship without connection.

I suggest that it will pay dividends for you to reflect on:

  • the levels at which are connecting with your clients,
  • how often you are connecting with your clients, and
  • how you are connecting with your clients.

How Deep?

All of us have relationships at different levels.

Jesus had three friends, Peter, James and John, who were the closest to him. Then he had the circle of 12 apostles and then a wider circle of several hundred disciples.

Each of us will have a small number of close friends and family, then our circle of people we know quite well. And then a much larger number of acquaintances. A lot of these might be Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections.

Imagine concentric circles. In reality, there will be many more than three circles, because you will have a unique level of connection with each person.

At what level are you connecting with your clients?

Obviously, the level of connection with your clients will grow as you get to know them better. It is a good thing to strive for. The more connection you build, the greater the level of trust and the greater the extent to which you will be able to help them.

You can be intentional about deepening your connections.

How to Win Friends…

Dale Carnegie’s seminal book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (#ad) is brilliant on this. If you haven’t read it, make it the next book you read. I left it for far too long before I read it, just because I thought the title sounded manipulative. I was missing out on gold.

Carnegie makes the powerful observation that people that love talking about themselves – it is always their favourite subject!

Make a habit of regularly asking your clients questions about themselves. Make sure you remember what they say for next time. Take notes if necessary. I use Evernote.

The most comfortable place to build connections is around things that you have in common, perhaps interests or hobbies, maybe aspects of your work, possibly shared likes and dislikes. You might also have shared connections and friends.

But you can also ask them about non-shared stuff. Unusual hobbies they have that you don’t, but you can show an interest. Alternatively, exciting pieces of work they have done that you can ask them about.

Taboo Subjects?

Other subjects can enter in as your relationship grows. Some of them will require a sensitive and gradual approach. For example, asking about family. But, if they bring it up first and mention their partner, children, etc. then you can refer back to them later.

Other topics might be spirituality and religion. For some, this is a complete no-no, but for others, it will deepen the connection markedly. You might find you have to talk in “code” for a bit to establish that you’re on the same page. 

Similarly, with politics, some people love talking about it, others don’t. It can either strengthen your connection or divide you. You may think it’s not worth the risk and that it is best to avoid this altogether but, again, in some cases, it could really strengthen your bond.

Too Much, Too Little? Find the Goldilocks Frequency

Think about how often you are connecting with your clients. What frequency is appropriate? You don’t want to annoy them and pester them, but you also want them to know that you haven’t forgotten them.

It’s finding a balance – not too often, not too little. 

And How?

Think about the ways that you are connecting. What is the most appropriate method for each time you connect?

You will probably discover that each client has a favoured method of connection. Even so, there will be times when you use a different channel, depending on what you are trying to communicate.

Think about the most appropriate way of connecting with your clients on each occasion – a phone call, Zoom call, email, face to face meeting, social media message, etc.

Connect and Build

Every time you physically or virtually connect with your clients, make sure you establish an emotional connection as well. Aim to build your relationship with them a little further.

Connecting is key.

—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook