connecting Archives - John Hayns

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects
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Connecting with clients.

Connecting is at the end of my MAGIC acronym. But that is just because it is the last letter in the word magic! It could come first, but the spelling would be wrong.

Connecting affects all the other aspects that we have talked about so far. The key to working with clients or anybody else is relationships. And there is no relationship without connection.

I suggest that it will pay dividends for you to reflect on:

the levels at which are connecting with your clients,
how often you are connecting with your clients, and
how you are connecting with your clients.

How Deep?

All of us have relationships at different levels.

Jesus had three friends, Peter, James and John, who were the closest to him. Then he had the circle of 12 apostles and then a wider circle of several hundred disciples.

Each of us will have a small number of close friends and family, then our circle of people we know quite well. And then a much larger number of acquaintances. A lot of these might be Facebook friends or LinkedIn connections.

Imagine concentric circles. In reality, there will be many more than three circles, because you will have a unique level of connection with each person.

At what level are you connecting with your clients?

Obviously, the level of connection with your clients will grow as you get to know them better. It is a good thing to strive for. The more connection you build, the greater the level of trust and the greater the extent to which you will be able to help them.

You can be intentional about deepening your connections.

How to Win Friends…

Dale Carnegie’s seminal book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (#ad) is brilliant on this. If you haven’t read it, make it the next book you read. I left it for far too long before I read it, just because I thought the title sounded manipulative. I was missing out on gold.

Carnegie makes the powerful observation that people that love talking about themselves – it is always their favourite subject!

Make a habit of regularly asking your clients questions about themselves. Make sure you remember what they say for next time. Take notes if necessary. I use Evernote.

The most comfortable place to build connections is around things that you have in common, perhaps interests or hobbies, maybe aspects of your work, possibly shared likes and dislikes. You might also have shared connections and friends.

But you can also ask them about non-shared stuff. Unusual hobbies they have that you don’t, but you can show an interest. Alternatively, exciting pieces of work they have done that you can ask them about.

Taboo Subjects?

Other subjects can enter in as your relationship grows. Some of them will require a sensitive and gradual approach. For example, asking about family. But, if they bring it up first and mention their partner, children, etc. then you can refer back to them later.

Other topics might be spirituality and religion. For some, this is a complete no-no, but for others, it will deepen the connection markedly. You might find you have to talk in “code” for a bit to establish that you’re on the same page.

Similarly, with politics, some people love talking about it, others don’t. It can either strengthen your connection or divide you. You may think it’s not worth the risk and that it is best to avoid this altogether but, again, in some cases, it could really strengthen your bond.

Too Much, Too Little? Find the Goldilocks Frequency

Think about how often you are connecting with your clients. What frequency is appropriate? You don’t want to annoy them and pester them, but you also want them to know that you haven’t forgotten them.

It’s finding a balance – not too often, not too little.

And How?

Think about the ways that you are connecting. What is the most appropriate method for each time you connect?

You will probably discover that each client has a favoured method of connection. Even so, there will be times when you use a different channel, depending on what you are trying to communicate.

Think about the most appropriate way of connecting with your clients on each occasion – a phone call, Zoom call, email, face to face meeting, social media message, etc.

Connect and Build

Every time you physically or virtually connect with your clients, make sure you establish an emotional connection as well. Aim to build your relationship with them a little further.

Connecting is key.

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Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

Adapt to new ways of working
Harness the power of habits
Optimise the use of space in your home
Use clothes to boost productivity
Focus on what matters
Plan for the future amidst uncertainty

Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects
—

I’m Back

Sorry that I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks. Many thanks to those of you who noticed – it’s nice to be missed 🙂

I’ve been on holiday. This has given me a chance to connect to myself, to think about life a bit.

Connecting to yourself is the subject of today’s blog.

Why Connect?

Why should you connect to yourself?

Think about bank statements. Remember paper statements? Some of you might still get them! We all know that you have to open the envelope and look at the bank statement, even if you don’t want to. There is no benefit in denial. It will only make the situation worse.

In the same way, it is vital to connect to yourself so that you are aware of where you’re at, and why you are doing what you’re doing. If something is not right, there is no point living in denial and carrying on regardless. It would only make things worse.

It is so easy to go through life on autopilot, never stopping to ask ourselves why we are doing things. This is how we get stuck in a rut. This is how we lose energy and become listless.

Once you have given yourself the chance to be self-aware, you need to listen to your mind, you need to listen to your body.

What questions should you ask yourself? What answers should you listen out for? How do you make time to make sure connecting to yourself happens?

The Question of Which Questions?

I have been reminded recently about the importance of connecting with our why. I was talking last week to Amy Rowlinson, who has the fantastic podcast “Focus on Why.” Simon Sinek is also famous for encouraging us to “Start with Why”.

Ask yourself, why you are doing what you are doing? Or, maybe, why you are not doing what you want to be doing?

Once you have worked out your motivation, ask yourself, “Is this working?”

Am I enjoying what I’m doing? Could I do it in a different way to make it more enjoyable? Most of the time, most of the agency for making changes to our working habits lies with ourselves. Work out what needs to change and then make a concrete plan to change it.

Am I working towards my goals or just marking time? It is so easy to fill your day with “busy work” that achieves little and does not move you forward. Could you make any changes to keep you on track?

Body Conscious

Listen to your body.

Am I tired? Am I aching? Feeling sharp? Energetic? Could I make any changes? Revised sleep patterns, change of diet, new office chair….?

Maybe you need to go and see the doctor? Again, there is nothing to be gained by denial.

Life-Saving Routine

Last week, I watched the fantastic David Blaine’s “Ascension.”

I’m a fan of David Blaine as a magician, but he also does these amazing stunts. In this one, he had a bunch of 52 helium balloons. He held on to it as they took him to 23,000 feet, and then he skydived off. The whole thing was live on YouTube. Incredible.

What was very apparent is that he had a strict routine for checking, every step of the way.

At 23,000 feet, held on by a cable to the balloons, he had to put on his parachute. He put it on, and he checked the straps and buckles in strict sequence, at least twice.

It was drilled into him. He had a checking routine. If he hadn’t done it, He would have been risking his life.

Do you have a checking routine for your life?

I would recommend it. If you don’t do it, you are risking a fulfilled life.

What do I mean by this?

Love Your Reflection

I am a huge advocate of building and reflective practices into your life, daily, weekly, and periodically.

Each day, I recommend journaling. A journal can be in various forms. Years ago, I used to do the “artists pages”, recommended by Julia Cameron in the Artists Way (#ad). Two sides of A4 of a stream of consciousness freeform prose, whatever comes into your head. It’s amazing what you write down! You get a real insight into your inner workings.

These days it is more structured and quicker. I do a bullet point journal inspired by Michael Hyatt. It’s a systematic way of reflecting on yesterday and planning for today.

I also walk the dog each day and make a point of not listening to music or podcasts while I’m doing this. My mind is then free to process stuff, to think about life.

Weekly, I do a more involved journal entry every Sunday morning. And I also have a kayaking trip where I take myself off for three hours by myself in nature. Again a chance to process stuff, to think, or even just to zone out for a change. I stop for lunch on the river bank, cook it up on a little stove. It’s a great chance to lie on my back in a field, watch the clouds scud by and ask myself how I’m doing.

And periodically. It’s good to take yourself away on holiday, or maybe even a retreat where you take a deep dive into what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what you plan to do next.

On reflection, are you reflecting enough?

Be kind to yourself, connect to yourself.

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