Tag: leadership

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The MAGIC Formula – Dealing with a Timid Team Member

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

—

I have been working as a close-up magician for the last 25 years. I have entertained at thousands of events – hundreds of tables at weddings, corporate parties and significant birthdays.

At the same time, in the other half of my life, I have led and been a member of several teams. Recently, I have been interviewing many other team leaders about their experiences and challenges. Many thanks if you are one of them!

I have observed that many of the challenges facing a close-up magician approaching a table of guests are very similar to those facing team leaders. I have also realised that the MAGIC formula may be applied in both situations.

—

Tackling Timidity

I have nearly finished introducing all the people on my hypothetical table of wedding guests. There are just two left to meet: Timid Tina and Entitled Taramasalata.

Timid Tina doesn’t want to talk or be talked to, doesn’t want to be the focus of attention, says she doesn’t really like magic, that she would rather not take part. She is married to Joker Jake and is the mother of Enthusiastic Matilda and Bored Ben. She has ended up being seated next to Tarquin the Silverback, which is not where she would have chosen to be in a million years.

Why is Tina feeling nervous and reluctant to take part? Who knows? Maybe she has had a bad experience with a magician before? It could be that she was embarrassed at a birthday party or she saw something that offended her on TV. We magicians have to live with this; we are all tarred very quickly with the same brush. It is unfair, but that is the way it is.

Sideways Strategy

It doesn’t work to try to combat this directly. Believe me, I have tried. It is very tempting to think, “Ah, but I am different, I will change your mind and you will end up loving magic. The way that I will do it is to involve you in a magic trick against your will and therefore re-align your thoughts and feelings about magicians!” Never a good idea!

You have to go at it sideways, e.g., I might say, “No problem, that’s OK, magic is not for everyone. Do you mind if I do some tricks for the others and you just watch?”  I have never experienced anyone saying no to that.

Then I would do my best to do a highly entertaining, non-threatening and uplifting job for the rest of the table. If I get it right, it will leave a positive impression of magicians on the previously magic-nervous Tina and will go some way to rehabilitating the profession in her mind.

Useless Theories

Maybe her reticence has nothing to do with magic? It could be that she had a parent who was always over-the-top gregarious in social situations, and she always found them intensely embarrassing when she was a child. Now she avoids being the centre of attention because she does not want to be perceived like that herself.

Or it could be any number of other reasons. The critical thing is, I don’t know, and there is no way I will find out in the few minutes I have at the wedding table. She may not even know the reason herself! Of course, I can have my theories, but they are not actually that useful. The only thing I can do in the moment is to respect her stated position, be sensitive and do my job as well as I possibly can. That way, I can’t make the situation worse for her, and I may well make it better.

Gently, Gently…

It is the same when you are a team leader. You may have a quiet team member who doesn’t want to engage in team meetings. There will be little gained, and probably much lost, by forcing them to contribute against their will. As with many of the personalities that we find a challenge, much can be achieved by getting alongside them outside of team meetings, establishing rapport and getting to know them one-to-one.

If you can help your team member to feel valued as they are and not under any pressure to contribute in the same way as other more extroverted colleagues, then the chances are that they will begin to feel more comfortable. Once this starts, you may see some of their nervousness falling away, and you may notice them contributing more. This is unlikely to be a fast process; it needs to be done steadily and gently.

Different Maps

As with any of the personalities that we may have on a wedding table or a team, it is helpful to realise and remember that no two people think, perceive the world or navigate their way through life in the same way. We all have our own maps of the world, and they can differ wildly. 

As a magician and team leader, I have to remember that I am there to serve, whether it be my audience or my team. I need to be humble enough to realise that I don’t have all the answers, that they will have different understandings and approaches to me, and that all I can do is influence. Nonetheless, it is possible to get everyone pulling together in the same direction to achieve a desired result.

Maybe with Tina more than any of the other characters on the table, it is a case of much more carrot than stick? She may be the quietest, but she quite possibly presents the most significant challenge.

Do you have a Timid Tina on your team?

How can you best serve them?

—

Help Please!

I am currently adding to my coaching toolkit by undergoing some NLP Coaching training. As part of the course, I need to practise my new techniques on willing volunteers.

The research involves a 30-minute Zoom call. I get some practice and you get some free coaching: win-win! Thank you to those who have already done it – much appreciated! Please let me know if you would like to do some more.

Please pass this on to anyone that you know might enjoy or benefit from it.

If you would like to help, please book in here:
https://www.work-life-magic.com/free-coaching/

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The MAGIC Formula – Dealing with a Joker

The MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

—

I have been working as a close-up magician for the last 25 years. I have entertained at thousands of events – hundreds of tables at weddings, corporate parties and significant birthdays.

At the same time, in the other half of my life, I have led and been a member of several teams. Recently, I have been interviewing many other team leaders about their experiences and challenges. Many thanks if you are one of them!

I have observed that many of the challenges facing a close-up magician approaching a table of guests are very similar to those facing team leaders. I have also realised that the MAGIC formula may be applied in both situations.

—

“Watch your Watch“

Any magician who works at weddings, family events or corporate events will be very familiar with the lines “Hold on to your wallets”, “Watch your watch,” and “Can you cut my husband in half?” These are the lines of the Joker, present in almost every group.

On our imaginary wedding table, the Joker is Jake, the father of enthusiastic Matilda and bored Ben.

You may well have a Joker on your team. You may love them, or they may irritate you beyond belief.

Jester Minute

How do you deal with a Joker?

A jester was an essential part of the mediaeval court. They were the ones who could speak the truth to the king like no one else. Of course, they had to make sure they didn’t step over the line, otherwise, they might lose their heads. But they were able to go further than anyone else in the court. Think of the fool in King Lear. The jester is there to burst the bubble of pomposity, to stop monarchs from taking themselves too seriously.

Do you have a jester on your team? They may be an inexperienced or experienced jester, but they will have much to add.

Kind to the Clown

I have to admit that I am writing from the point of view of being a joker myself. I have always been that way, always loved wordplay. Over the years, I have learned to apply a filter so that I don’t share every single pun that comes into my head. But it is my mental reflex action. My family and colleagues will testify that the filter stops working when I am tired!

So my plea to you is, please treat your jokers/ jesters kindly.

As a magician working a wedding table, when I encounter a joker like Jake,  my initial reaction is, as with so many challenging personality types, to try to block them or compete with them, to use a clever put-down to make myself look better. I have to resist this unless they are seriously disrupting the show. I can acknowledge the joke kindly, move on and make them feel included.

Likewise, if you have a Joker on your team, you might find that they irritate you. Maybe they don’t share your sense of humour, or it may be that they are not filtering very well? Instead of blocking them or competing, think about how you can offer feedback in a kind and gentle way, away from the rest of the team. Perhaps you could let them know how their jokes make you feel or how you’re finding them distracting and ask them to just dial it back a bit?

Top comedians spend years trying out material and dying on stage multiple times in clubs. Your team Joker has not had that experience. So kind feedback will help them to improve their style.

The Source of Great Amusement

Have a think about what might be driving your Joker. The truth is, you really don’t and can’t know exactly. And people make jokes for all sorts of motivations. It could be defensiveness; they could be shy and employing a coping mechanism. They could have some kind of unconscious insecurity, or they’re avoiding pain of some sort.

It could be their way of oiling the cogs of team relationships. I once worked in a multiple-office setup.  I used to bounce around the other offices and chat with people every now and then and make them laugh. One of my colleagues actually said thank you, that I lightened the burden of the day by distracting them momentarily and taking their mind off the serious business they were engaged in most of the time.

Can you affirm your Joker in the same sort of way? Bear in mind that they may be utterly unaware that they are being embarrassing or awkward, and they need sensitive feedback to learn this.

Sensitive Censoring

Looking around the wedding table, Jake’s teenage children will probably be rolling their eyes at his jokes and his wife might look embarrassed.

There are different types of humour. If it is cutting and cruel, then you have a problem, and there could be some sort of relationship or attitude problem that might need further investigation. However, maybe they are simply using stock lines or engaging in wordplay. In that case, it may be worth recognising the lateral thinking that is going on and their ability to look at life sideways and make connections that you don’t. This kind of thinking can be invaluable for a team to open up new avenues for exploration. You really want to avoid killing any creativity.

So treat your Jokers gently, nurture the good side and give gentle feedback.

Every team needs its jester.


—

Help Please!

I would like to interview even more team leaders to gain insight into the challenges they face. This is so that I can design an effective resource for use by team leaders in many different situations. I am talking to leaders of both permanent and temporary teams.

The research involves a 15 minute Zoom call. Thank you to those who have already done it – much appreciated!

Please pass this on to any team leaders that you know.

If you are a team leader and would like to help, please book in here:
https://www.work-life-magic.com/magic-for-teams-research/

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Be Kind by MAGIC – Moving Your Clients

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 
—

Moving Your Clients

If you work with clients, you can significantly enhance your offering to them by thinking about how you move them.

How do you move them educationally, moving them from not knowing something to knowing?

How do you help them to see things from a new perspective, moving them from one viewpoint to another viewpoint?

And how do you engage their feelings, moving them emotionally, providing them with an impetus to take action?

Be a Favourite Teacher

You can serve your clients by moving them from one state of knowledge to another. In other words, you can tell them something they didn’t know that will be useful to them.

Maybe it is something about the law? Perhaps a new software tool, services they may be able to access, or some other resources that may be useful to them.

Nifty Shifty

Magicians always have to be careful about angles. If you watch a trick from the wrong place, sometimes you can see things that you weren’t meant to! Seeing things from the best angle is very important for the magic to work.

Working with clients, helping them to see something from another perspective can be very useful. Can you help them to shift to see things from another point of view? To re-frame things, see them from a distance, take an outsider’s view?

Maybe they have intellectual or emotional doubts that are stopping them progressing?  Sometimes those doubts are based on real barriers, but very often, the obstacles are just imagined or perceived. The doubts are like little gremlins sitting on the shoulders that need punching in the nose. Can you help them to shift their viewpoint, so they can sort out the real from the imagined?

Imagine How You Will Feel When…

What emotions can you engage in your clients?

Can you excite them about potential, about what they can imagine happening, but also about what they can’t yet imagine happening? The excitement can motivate them to begin exploring new territory.

Can you help them to flip nervousness about the future, into excitement about adventure?

Can you get them to reflect on the changes they have seen and the progress they have made so that they feel satisfaction and pride?

Maybe there’s even space for inducing a little fear about the consequences of inaction?

Even if you are a lawyer, accountant or in some other seemingly unemotional occupation, there is still scope to engage the emotions of your clients. Paint an imaginative picture of how someone’s life will be better as a result of your involvement. Let them see the potential for change and feel the related emotions.

Moving is a fundamental characteristic of living things. Make sure that you and your clients are moving.

How can you move your clients today?

—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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Be Kind by MAGIC – Connecting to Yourself

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 
—

I’m Back

Sorry that I haven’t blogged for a couple of weeks. Many thanks to those of you who noticed – it’s nice to be missed 🙂

I’ve been on holiday. This has given me a chance to connect to myself, to think about life a bit.

Connecting to yourself is the subject of today’s blog.

Why Connect?

Why should you connect to yourself?

Think about bank statements. Remember paper statements? Some of you might still get them! We all know that you have to open the envelope and look at the bank statement, even if you don’t want to. There is no benefit in denial. It will only make the situation worse.

In the same way, it is vital to connect to yourself so that you are aware of where you’re at, and why you are doing what you’re doing. If something is not right, there is no point living in denial and carrying on regardless. It would only make things worse.

It is so easy to go through life on autopilot, never stopping to ask ourselves why we are doing things. This is how we get stuck in a rut. This is how we lose energy and become listless.

Once you have given yourself the chance to be self-aware, you need to listen to your mind, you need to listen to your body. 

What questions should you ask yourself? What answers should you listen out for? How do you make time to make sure connecting to yourself happens?

The Question of Which Questions?

I have been reminded recently about the importance of connecting with our why. I was talking last week to Amy Rowlinson, who has the fantastic podcast “Focus on Why.” Simon Sinek is also famous for encouraging us to “Start with Why”.

Ask yourself, why you are doing what you are doing? Or, maybe, why you are not doing what you want to be doing?

Once you have worked out your motivation, ask yourself, “Is this working?”

Am I enjoying what I’m doing? Could I do it in a different way to make it more enjoyable? Most of the time, most of the agency for making changes to our working habits lies with ourselves. Work out what needs to change and then make a concrete plan to change it.

Am I working towards my goals or just marking time? It is so easy to fill your day with “busy work” that achieves little and does not move you forward. Could you make any changes to keep you on track?

Body Conscious

Listen to your body.

Am I tired? Am I aching? Feeling sharp? Energetic? Could I make any changes? Revised sleep patterns, change of diet, new office chair….?

Maybe you need to go and see the doctor? Again, there is nothing to be gained by denial.

Life-Saving Routine

Last week, I watched the fantastic David Blaine’s “Ascension.”

I’m a fan of David Blaine as a magician, but he also does these amazing stunts. In this one, he had a bunch of 52 helium balloons. He held on to it as they took him to 23,000 feet, and then he skydived off. The whole thing was live on YouTube. Incredible.

What was very apparent is that he had a strict routine for checking, every step of the way.

At 23,000 feet, held on by a cable to the balloons, he had to put on his parachute. He put it on, and he checked the straps and buckles in strict sequence, at least twice.

It was drilled into him. He had a checking routine. If he hadn’t done it, He would have been risking his life.

Do you have a checking routine for your life?

I would recommend it. If you don’t do it, you are risking a fulfilled life.

What do I mean by this?

Love Your Reflection

I am a huge advocate of building and reflective practices into your life, daily, weekly, and periodically.

Each day, I recommend journaling. A journal can be in various forms. Years ago, I used to do the “artists pages”, recommended by Julia Cameron in the Artists Way (#ad). Two sides of A4 of a stream of consciousness freeform prose, whatever comes into your head. It’s amazing what you write down! You get a real insight into your inner workings.

These days it is more structured and quicker. I do a bullet point journal inspired by Michael Hyatt. It’s a systematic way of reflecting on yesterday and planning for today.

I also walk the dog each day and make a point of not listening to music or podcasts while I’m doing this. My mind is then free to process stuff, to think about life.

Weekly, I do a more involved journal entry every Sunday morning. And I also have a kayaking trip where I take myself off for three hours by myself in nature. Again a chance to process stuff, to think, or even just to zone out for a change. I stop for lunch on the river bank, cook it up on a little stove. It’s a great chance to lie on my back in a field, watch the clouds scud by and ask myself how I’m doing.

And periodically. It’s good to take yourself away on holiday, or maybe even a retreat where you take a deep dive into what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and what you plan to do next.

On reflection, are you reflecting enough?

Be kind to yourself, connect to yourself.


—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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Be Kind by MAGIC – Giving to Yourself

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

Giving to Yourself

This whole idea of giving to yourself might seem selfish or frivolous, an unnecessary luxury.

However, business people need to give to themselves so that they remain effective.

We need to give ourselves:

– the necessary resources,
– time for recharging, and
– recreation and inspiration.

Eat, Sleep, Break

To flourish, we have to give ourselves permission to sleep enough. We require the right nutrition. We need to give ourselves adequate breaks.

Leadership and sales are taxing occupations. We need time for thinking and reflecting on our work.

If you are a creative, you need time to brainstorm, to dream, to come up with new ideas.

I was once told that you can always spot the Chief Executive. They are the ones with their feet up on the desk. Not resting, thinking.

Modern life takes its toll. To be effective, we need to be healthy, both mentally and physically.

Come Apart…

I love the saying “Come apart before you come apart”. 

Do you take enough days off? Do you take proper holidays? We need to be intentional about time off in the always-on age. Give yourself permission to be switched off sometimes.

I once heard the now Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, talk about the “radical unavailability” of Jesus. Jesus, at the height of his ministry, used to take himself off and become unavailable for days at a time. He would recharge, reflect, and be all the more effective when he got back.

Soul Food

You need time to feed your soul. Time to inspire yourself, to relax, to feel good. Time to build your self up.

What hobbies are you engaged in? Hobbies that are not necessarily related to your work, but enable you to nurture another side of yourself.

Do you get to the theatre, watch films or good TV that lifts your spirits? Do you regularly escape into a good book?

A couple of decades ago, I read “The Artists Way” by Julia Cameron. One of the things that stuck with me from that book was the concept of an “artist’s date”, taking yourself off regularly for a treat. It might be going to a museum, a walk in nature, or cinema by yourself in the afternoon. One of my favourites is taking myself off to a posh hotel and having afternoon tea. Maybe you’d prefer a spa day? You get the idea.

If we’re giving all the time, we need time to recharge, to build our energy back, to bolster our self-worth.

Gold

The Golden Rule is, “Love your neighbour as yourself”.

If you’re not giving to yourself, then you won’t be in a position to give to your team, your prospects or your clients.

—

Download my free eBook “Be Kind to Yourself” and learn how to:

  • Adapt to new ways of working
  • Harness the power of habits
  • Optimise the use of space in your home
  • Use clothes to boost productivity
  • Focus on what matters
  • Plan for the future amidst uncertainty
Be Kind to Yourself – Free eBook
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Be Kind by MAGIC – Attuning to Yourself

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

  • Yourself
  • Your clients
  • Your team
  • Your prospects 

Getting to Know Yourself

We can be more effective and productive if we learn to attune to ourselves.

Get to know ourselves, work out how we tick, and then work according to our natural rhythm and natural strengths.

In what areas can we do this?

  • Our energy patterns throughout the day,
  • sleep rhythms,
  • productivity triggers,
  • work patterns, and
  • personality type.

Energy Levels

I know that my most creative time is first thing in the morning. Following my dog walk, my mind is on fire. That is when I can produce my original material.

Knowing this, I avoid scheduling meetings before 11am. Pre-11am is my time to create stuff.

After lunch, I have an energy slump. I will generally have a power nap and then do routine answering of emails and other admin that doesn’t require vast amounts of brainpower. 

Later in the afternoon, I have a slight energy revival. This is time for fun, creative tasks that don’t require a lot of original thought – things like video and audio editing and non-taxing phone calls.

Obviously, the above only works if I have control of my day – sometimes others will dictate the timetable.

Sleepy Time

I have realised that I don’t work well at night. I like to finish work by 6pm, do nothing else in the evenings and to be in bed shortly after 10pm.  

I’m an early morning person. Other people are night owls.

We are all different. Work out your natural sleep rhythm and design your life and your work to maximise your effectiveness.

Trigger Happy

What do I mean by “productivity triggers”?

I have discovered that I am triggered to be more productive for different tasks by different locations. I like writing in the library. I love reading books in coffee shops. I like doing admin in my office.

I also find that changing my clothing puts me in a different mindset for different tasks, even when working from home.

Underlying all this is my discovery about myself that I am stimulated by variety.

What triggers your productivity? Can you engineer those things into your work timetable?

Pattern Matching

I like to do things little and often. For example, I’m usually reading five books at once, all different genres. I have set locations for each and set times in the day when I read them. I only read them for five or 10 minutes each.

I realise this might seem a bit strange. Other people want to concentrate on one book and read it from start to finish before they start the next one, but that doesn’t really work for me.

What suits you?

Similarly, I like to break work tasks down into short discrete steps and then spread them out over several days. I can then have a variety of work in one day, switching between projects each hour or so. 

What work rhythms, routines and habits, will help you to maximise your productivity?

In Touch with Type

What is your personality type? You may have come across Myers Briggs, the enneagram and DiSC These tools can help you to identify the most effective way to navigate through life and work, how you work both by yourself and with other people.

Are you an initiator or sustainer?

We all know people who are good at starting things but then get bored. Likewise, we all know people who don’t really like starting things but are great at keeping something going. Which one are you? 

How are you at delegation? This is a learning curve for me. I find it hard to delegate things where I have a small degree of competence, but I’m not an expert. Invariably, I have to ask myself, “What can only I do, and what can I pass on to someone else who can do it better and faster than me?”

Attune Time

Take time to find out how you tick, and then work accordingly. It’s a surefire way to increase your effectiveness and productivity,

Be kind to yourself: attune to yourself.

—
You may find my free eBook helpful. 18 pages and easy to read: “Be Kind to Yourself: Six Magic Insights to Transform Home-Based Working.”Get your copy here: https://www.work-life-magic.com/be-kind-to-yourself-free-ebook/
Please pass this on to anyone you know that might find it helpful.

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Be Kind By MAGIC – Moving Yourself

Being Kind is your business super-power.

How do you Be Kind in Business? By applying the MAGIC formula:

Moving
Attuning
Giving
Inspiring
Connecting

It applies to:

Yourself
Your clients
Your team
Your prospects 

Today we look at the power  of MOVING yourself.

Live and Kicking

When I watch a live performance, it moves me. I get set free from day-to-day preoccupations and taken somewhere else. Maybe you are the same?

When I am performing, and I see my performance producing a similar experience in others, it feels great. I feel like I’m in my groove.

Live performance makes me emotional because I know its power.

Our feelings are enormous motivators. Most of what we do is motivated by emotion. Sometimes we like to think we’re mainly rational, but actually, our feelings are way more powerful.

It is important to remember this.

Jaded and Faded

You come across some close-up magicians who are jaded. They’ve been doing the same thing for too long, they’ve lost the joy and the spark. You can spot it a mile off. It contrasts so hugely with those who are loving every minute of it and bringing joy to those they entertain.

They’re just not feeling it anymore.

If you feel like you are lacking energy or motivation, find a way to reconnect with the feelings that got you going in the first place.

What started you off?

What is the bigger picture?

Paper Tigers

On the flip side, it may be that you had a feeling that stopped you doing something: nervousness, apprehension, fear of failure. Can you examine it, work out where it came from, test its validity? Once these negative feelings are recognised, many of them go away. Others can be worked through and conquered.

Connecting with our feelings is essential if we want to make progress, grow and continue.

Environmental Friendliness

How do you do this? How can you reconnect with your feelings, so that you’re always motivated and energised?

Think about your working and living environment. Surrounding yourself with stimulating or comforting pictures on your walls and objects on your desk can help. Watching films and theatre, going to particular places may well excite emotions that will motivate and inspire you.

Day-to-day and in the moment, music can also be a great energiser. I like to listen to AC/DC, Guns N’Roses or Led Zeppelin just before a big meeting, just to get my energy up and my mind into a faster rhythm. I’m then more energised and alert.

Similarly, exercise, nature and pets can help to lift my mood. Sometimes a change is as good as a rest: do something creative, go for a walk, phone a friend. Change your mood state, be moved, connect with the emotion that is driving you.

Feel the magic, because feeling is magic.

—

You may find my free eBook helpful.
18 pages and easy to read: “Be Kind to Yourself: Six Magic Insights to Transform Home-Based Working”
Get your copy here: https://www.work-life-magic.com/be-kind-to-yourself-free-ebook/
Please pass this on to anyone you know that might find it helpful.